maura, csstine : i believe in science! i'm sorry we live in a world where you feel the need to say that. science doesn't care if you believe in it.

Method Acting

Today's comic asks the question: Do you believe in science?

– @rstevens



otakate, torpor : hey, torpor. hello endoskeleton friend! do you hide your skeleton inside because it's made of tasty candy and you're afraid someone will eat it? i never thought about it like that. i bet your bones are delicious!

Beautiful on the Inside

Hooray for Torpor! Hooray for friendship! Hooray for skeletons!

– @rstevens



lil sis, red robot, darth vader : if you really hated humans, surely you'd have crushed us by now you must secretly like us! or i'm keeping you around a little longer because it's less boring than having nothing to complain about see you soon!

Posterior Motives

Why does Red Robot let us humans live?

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens



red robot, darth vader : wow! it's darth vader! i once had another name it's so cool to finally meet you! impressive you've been an inspiration my whole life. now i am the master i've been a fan so long, i remember when you were still a badass! nooooo

Never Meet Your Heroes

They're rarely as cool as you hope.

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens



lil sis, indie rock pete : to do great things, sometimes you have to be unreasonable. extraordinary people don't always make great friends. achieving as much as i have in life doesn't always leave room for personal relationships! you're microwaving a burrito. i'm also making sure you don't ask to share it.

Let's Be Unreasonable

I like to imagine this is why I have no friends.

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens



pale suzie, gamer gabe : ghostbuster, taco puss, couch, window, ugh! i'm so sick of this agenda being pushed in my face! it's bad enough that movie laid its eggs inside my childhood's brain- now i can't even turn around without seeing your feminisms! this is so unfair to me! Earlier... i think i'll stay in tonight and wear my ghostbusters jammies in the privacy of my own home!

Everyone Loves Holtzmann

Never slide into a Ghostbuster's DMs.

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens



maura, csstine, nipples the bear : the world is a  butts of late a butts and a total hole what's wrong, various kids? nipples the bear! unrelenting horror of existence got you down? is it that obvious? got any advice? become a cartoon bear like me! actually, that sounds pretty reasonable.

Social Animism

When the world gets me down, there's only one person I look to for advice: Nipples the Bear.

– @rstevens



roger the cat, clango : cat butt licking maooowww how can you be hungry? you just ate!

All You Care to Eat

Nothing's funnier than butts.

– @rstevens



roger the cat, clango : cat butt licking maow maow it's not time to eat yet. yes, i'm aware that while you may live in my home- -that doesn't mean you share my schedule or belief system. or have any respect for me. lick lick

Scheduling Conflicts

Cats are just so full of kindness and respect. That's why we love 'em.

– @rstevens



pale suzie, maura : promise me you won't run for president. i can't promise that. i'll make you more coffee. can i at least run for vice-president? as the recovering goth, i should be the one who wants a job with free snacks and unlimited funerals. free food and no real responsibility sounds amazing. the vice- presidency is a tech startup?!

A Bucket of Warm User Experience

Promise me that you won't run for president.

– @rstevens



pale suzie, maura : holding coffee pot i invented a time machine! that's a coffee machine. and i'm pretty sure you didn't invent it. how do you know i didn't invent the coffee machine? i have a time machine! your facts are wrong, but i can't dispute your logic. i should run for president!

Looped Logic

Time machines, coffee machines... What's the difference?

– @rstevens



lil sis, red robot : why do you even use social media? you hate people. that's the whole point! i should have known you posted a fake awesome life to make yourself look good. verifiably untrue! i'll have you know i post a fake awesome life to make other people FEEL BAD

Parasocial Media

Today's comic asks why an evil robot would use social media? Depending on how cynical you are, the answer might surprise you.

– @rstevens



lil sis, red robot : you should hire me to do your social media. begone, presumptuous meat. i could write tweets for you! no, you couldn't. how could your flesh brain possibly keep up with everyone i need to threaten? i could do your instagram? perhaps if you were a cat.

Ghost Ruder

Is it a ghost writer pun or a Ghost Rider pun? Who am I to tell you how to interpret my oblique references?

– @rstevens



lil sis, maura : did i hear you turn down a beer? i don't think i've ever seen you turn down a beer! i got bored. bored of beer? i got bored of being somebody who always needs a beer. would it wreck things if i was proud of you? i think i'd be too confused for it to bother me.

Sister Act

Every once in a great while, these two act like human people who like each other.

– @rstevens



maura, metal steve : holding a beer, we deserve a beer for being so healthy! oh hello or i could give you my beer and be both healthy and generous. whoa, hang on a sec- you're actually trying to be healthy? i thought this was just an excuse to give ourselves treats!

To Your Health

The question is: how healthy do you want to be?

– @rstevens



maura, metal steve : donuts gonna eat clean! so clean we'll lose friends! gonna get healthy! super healthy! but not too healthy. gotta leave room for improvement! perfection is totally boring. so that's why we don't have any friends!

clango, otakate : cut off hand i was playing with the cat. i was the cat toy.you were the cat toy.

Collateral Damage

Tonight's comic is about playing with cats.

– @rstevens



john stamos kitten, clango : playing rolling over fighting toy cut off hand scratches it's so cute the way she pretends to murder for my entertainment! bat bat FWiiiNNGGG or for her own entertainment. heh heh

Blame Society

We can’t blame cats for being cats.

– @rstevens



electron mike, lil sis : hang loose hands how long is your podcast?this week? only about two hours! i'll subscribe if you can describe the premise in less time than it would take to listen. ...

Discussing Things at Length

If I were going to listen to it... How long is your podcast?

– @rstevens



electron mike, lil sis : thumbs up silent panels do you listen to my podcast? can you pretend to like it if i don't ask for your favorite episode?

Podcast Pals

Tonight's comic wants to know if you listen to its podcast.

– @rstevens



otakate, pale suzie : sure you don't wanna go out? i already went out today. checking- instagram totally counts as going out!

A Portal to the World

Does checking Instagram count as going outside?

– @rstevens



otakate, pale suzie : thought balloons wanna go out and maybe get a drink tonight? does anyone ever actually want to go out if they have a choice? and how do i explain it to my cat? does she realize i can see her thoughts? we had plans to lay silently on the floor!

Lead Balloons

What really happens when you ask an introvert to make plans.

– @rstevens





SECRET SHIRT DO NOT CLICK



maura, csstine : i believe in science! i'm sorry we live in a world where you feel the need to say that. science doesn't care if you believe in it.

Method Acting

Today's comic asks the question: Do you you believe in science?

– @rstevens


otakate, torpor : hey, torpor. hello endoskeleton friend! do you hide your skeleton inside because it's made of tasty candy and you're afraid someone will eat it? i never thought about it like that. i bet your bones are delicious!

Beautiful on the Inside

Hooray for Torpor! Hooray for friendship! Hooray for skeletons!

– @rstevens


lil sis, red robot, darth vader : if you really hated humans, surely you'd have crushed us by now you must secretly like us! or i'm keeping you around a little longer because it's less boring than having nothing to complain about see you soon!
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red robot, darth vader : wow! it's darth vader! i once had another name it's so cool to finally meet you! impressive you've been an inspiration my whole life. now i am the master i've been a fan so long, i remember when you were still a badass! nooooo

Never Meet Your Heroes

They're rarely as cool as you hope.

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens


lil sis, indie rock pete : to do great things, sometimes you have to be unreasonable. extraordinary people don't always make great friends. achieving as much as i have in life doesn't always leave room for personal relationships! you're microwaving a burrito. i'm also making sure you don't ask to share it.

Let's Be Unreasonable

I like to imagine this is why I have no friends.

Just FYI- I've gotta go to San Diego Comicon this week, so I'm going on a M/W/F for the rest of July. WHEW.

– @rstevens




footr