The DS Hookup Chart + Bonus T-Shirt Idea (updated)
Most excellent reader Ray A. sent this chart in today. I think he caught pretty much every major romantic relationship I’ve ever written into this comic. The characters are a lot less slutty than I’d imagined!

James B. evolved it a little further here:

I’m going to be making up a big page of image buttons and banners tomorrow. In the meantime, can I get feedback on this shirt design? I kind of need to wear it…

I’m thinking about calling it The Saddest Soldier. It’s my first white shirt in a long, long time… I usually try to avoid them, but this one demands it!







September 1st, 2008 at 11:20 pm
[...] going to be making up a big page of image buttons and banners tomorrow. In the meantime, can I get feedback on this shirt design? I kind of need to wear [...]
September 1st, 2008 at 11:26 pm
My Stormtrooper-lovin’ boyfriend wants that shirt RIGHT NOW.
So thumbs up from Ohio!
September 1st, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Wait, what? When did Red Robot do it with Lil’ Sis?
P.S; I would wear that shirt so hard.
September 1st, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I want 7 of these shirts, as soon as possible
September 1st, 2008 at 11:39 pm
WANT!
September 1st, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I would like to wear this too. In fact, I would purchase this, and then wear it. It’s that great.
September 1st, 2008 at 11:45 pm
When did Red Robot date Lil’ Sis? File under Wales & Triscuit:
Wales.
Triscuit.
(there’s more in there too, I think)
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:09 am
one please!
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 am
I like the shirt, i’d wear it. For some reason I want it in grey instead of straight white.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:38 am
I too, would gladly give away my wife’s money for a t-shirt such as that..
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 am
The shirt works.
Red got with Li’l Sis fairly early on in the strip — as I recall, between Eve and Nipples. She was in kind of an experimental phase. Now that I think about it, though, Li’l Sis hasn’t been with ANYONE in quite a while … at least a few years. Has she gone celibate? Is she still pining for Metal Steve? Are the conversations with Indie Rock Pete reducing her libido? What’s up with this? Inquiring minds want to know …
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 am
Love the hookup chart. But it does highlight one weakness in the strip: Otakate ain’t gettin’ enough.
Sorry I have no comment on the shirt; I’m not a T-shirt kinda guy.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 am
i wanted a shirt of that the minute it showed up as your icon in Twitterriffic. My only problem is that I don’t really like white shirts. What about a little smaller, with a rounded rectangle of white, on a gray or black shirt? Kinda like, say, an icon.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 am
Alright, I guess I’m old-school or something, but Maura and Clango neeeeeed to get back together. See that line between Clango and Otakate? Unacceptable! Sorry, but Clango and Maura are just too adorable together to let Maura mess it up. =(
Also, totally heart the shirt. Not necessarily -my- style, but i know a few who would scoop that up.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 am
I would wear the hell out of that shirt!
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 am
The shirt is awesome.
The hookup chart is a classic concept! For clarity, it could be untangled a bit, and the encoding could be made a little more clear.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:27 am
My Empire loving wife requires one in baby doll, “now plz”.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 am
What about printing the Hook-up Chart as a T-shirt?
Print the “Dated” lines as GREEN & the “Unrequited” lines as BLUE.
For “Extra-Credit”, each line could contain somewhere along it’s length the number of the 1st comic that established that line, & each name could have under it the strip# of that character’s 1st appearance.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 am
Otakate gets plenty, just not with any main characters.
The chart is missing Eve and Red Robot (seen here). She was his first. As I recall, the common factor of getting over Eve was what led to Red Robot and Lil’ Sis hooking up.
My own questions: when were the links between Maura and Red Robot, and between Maura and Eve forged?
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 am
Before reading the caption on the shirt, it took me a minute for the design to resolve but then, I’m not major star wars fan. Pretty cool overall. Are there variations on the design to look at? Not sure about the heavy bar across the top.
Other than that, yeah, I like the idea of it.
Cool!
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:36 am
The hook up chart is great… though i thought with all those late night sessions, Otakate and Electron Mike did the dirty deed. I also thought there was a night of sweaty hentai-induced nookie between Otakate and Pale Suzie, before Suzie realized it was a mistake… I mean that vibrating hello kitty didn’t turn itself on…
Also, I don’t now the name of the girl that left Pete to go to england… but she should be on there somewhere. And Hey, even Uncle Grampa got some nookie.
As for the shirt, it is great… but I personally would want a posse of people around me in those, while I wore a black Vader shirt in a similar style….
But I’m now letting you all know way too much about my daddy issues.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:03 am
Even knowing that it’s a stormtrooper (which I had to read the comments to figure out) I still don’t think it looks like one. My $0.02.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:12 am
QUIBBLE!!! The Hookup Chart is missing at least two characters: Joel (heavy guy/programmer), who has unrequited feelings for Lil’ Sis; and Daniel (pale blue guy/zombie?), who has unrequited feelings for Maura. I know you said “major romantic relationship,” but if Goth Zack is included, Joel & Daniel should be too. End Quibble.
RE: Saddest Soldier Shirt. Go for it, dude.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:16 am
I reckon the trooper needs some gray bars (7 according to the image I’ve Googled up*) on the nose curve in a gray-black-gray set up. The curve appears to need less pitch, and the ‘eyebrow’ *seems* too thick.
Just didn’t look right…
Despite the pedantry from 7 hours of study and not enough coffee today, I’d wear one in a flash.
As for the hookup chart, rock on Ray A. Not about to go through 2093 strips to verify it though.
*incidentally, Stormtrooper cufflinks: http://www.geekalerts.com/stormtrooper-cufflinks/
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:31 am
shirt. good. grey better
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:32 am
Wait! What? L’il Sis slept with Nipples The Bear??? What??? I find that hard to believe. I mean, yeah, Sis is a a libertine, but she’s always had a low tolerance for creeps and freaks — and Nipples is _both_.
Shirt = good, but I’m more a Firefly/Serenity sort of guy, so no money here. Apologies. But hey, you’ll sell hundreds, I’m sure.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:35 am
I *neeeeeeeeeed* this shirt.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:58 am
Doesn’t this chart reveal that you think girls (and to a lesser extent, robots) are sluts, and guys are monogamous angels (or losers)?
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:58 am
You might have to do some man-on-man hookups to even it out, that’s all I’m saying.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 am
The eyes look kinda like a bra.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:12 am
Greetings from Finland! I’ve been a fan of the comic for years and I have to say it’s still going strong.
Now, the shirt:
The design is excellent! I think it looks exactly like a stormtrooper. Good job!
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:14 am
That shirt right there is full of win.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:57 am
I think Eve also slept with Red Robot in #176…
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 am
I was thinking the same thing as Juri Pakaste, as it stands, the eyes look like they’re meant to emphasize breasts (not sure how it’d look actually draped on a lady, though) I’m fairly certain you’ve put some thought into the degree of a) detail, b) pixelation and c) the pure black/white image, but have you tried “smaller” pixels, more detail, or shades of gray? I’m not sure how much you’re getting into copywright (sp?) infringement here, either.
side note, dunno if you’ve considered this, but that “hookup chart” might actually make a cool t-shirt back, (change the text to avatar images of the characters?) with a Diesel Sweeties logo/design on the front / over the breast / on a pocket
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:23 am
Nipples the Bear/Li’l Sis?
WHAT
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am
Juri Pakaste Says:
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 am
The eyes look kinda like a bra.
..THIS.
love the whole thing but there will def. be people who won’t ’see’ it right away and then try to make something naughty out of the bottom part of the design. still tho.. want!
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 am
WOULD BUY!
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:02 am
TOTALLY WANT ONE NOW PLIX
I’d feel like my aim was 100% worse if I was wearing one. And I could bump my head on low doorways with pride.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:06 am
Hot dang! What a nice load of comments to wake up to. I think the grey option is a great idea. Not too worried about *everyone* getting this one, it’s more of an inside joke thing among nerds.
******
Bennett: I think the girls getting more action is more a function of girls being more interesting to write, and men more interesting to make fun of.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
eric: I have done it up with smaller pixels, but it gets a lot less abstract and a lot more infringey. Purposely going for something where it’s as much about the viewer’s memory as the image.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:15 am
Wow simply wow – Want one now!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 am
That shirt is a level of awesome that doesn’t exist in nature. DO WANT.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:58 am
what about inverting the t-shirt image, black t-shirt with white details? maybe stand out a little more? cos i’d buy that (hell, i’m such a geek i’d probably buy both, lol)
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Looks pretty cool! +1 to the “white on black” idea of Chris.
The hookup chart is great. I like both versions, although, for my taste, the tangled mess of the version 1 somehow conveys the intrincacies of the comic better
For extra cool points, you could make some interactive version where each line would refer you to the first comic the joined people went to town. v2 is better for that.
On a side note, I kind of have a soft spot for Pale Suzie. Any chance of a rare copy of the backup disc Pete destroyed being hidden somewhere? Would make for an interesting story line
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
[...] http://www.dieselsweeties.com/blog/?p=365 [...]
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:43 pm
[...] Diesel Sweeties Newsblog » Blog Archive » The DS Hookup Chart + Bonus T-Shirt Idea (updated) var esctit = escape(’http://blog.andvaranaut.es/2008/09/%c2%bfquien-quiere-una/’); esctit = esctit.replace(///g,’%2F’); document.write(’Enviar “¿Quién quiere una?” por email’); [...]
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Chart is cool. But surely it’s possible for a couple to both date and screw?
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Enter the Geeks! That relationship graph needs two things:
1. Transcribe it into the “dot” graph-drawing language, so that you can generate graphs automatically using dot.
2. The edges should be labeled with links to the strips in the archives that support the relationship – so you can click and see where two characters hooked up.
Anybody feel like hacking?
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
first, the shirt is awesome– i hope it’s available soon so i can buy one for my boyfriend.
second, shouldn’t charles and li’l sis have an unrequited line going on? i seem to recall quite a few strips with li’l sis hitting on charles and it going nowhere…
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Clango + Pale Suzie 4evar! Maura’s a whore and she doesn’t deserve him!
LOVE the shirt; would buy when I get $$$.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
funny, but i second that emotion: love the shirt in white and/or gray — and i’d spend my wife’s money on it right away.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
A missing screw! Eve & Red Robot!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I would like to point something out: Everybody who has had intercourse in this comic has slept with (technically) everybody. Hear me out. If you buy the theory that if you sleep with one person, you sleep with everyone that person has ever slept with, I am right.
You can plainly see Maura as a central nexus in this sticky social network. And as all strands lead back to her within a few degrees, so do all of them lead away from her if you look at intercourse as a two-way thing.
As such, I request a graphic that is one big red line with the names of everybody aside of those who have received no play what so ever.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:03 am
Didn’t otakate and indie rock pete date? cause i distinctly remember she broke up with him in text!
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am
You forgot that Eve did it with Charles. Shown in episodes 415-417, 420.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:40 am
I would certainly wear that trooper. He looks so sadly.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Here is where L’il Sis slept with Nipples the Bear http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/348
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
TShirt: cool, maybe the image could be a teeny bit smaller?
Love Chart: God I was surprised how much I cared about that little picture! I notice you missed uncle Grandad and the Toaster off though… isn’t Ottokate making wholesome grainy goodness with the toaster?
And Where is Torpor? I need things lifting…
Keep up the great work…
September 4th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Isn’t that shirt a little short for a stormtrooper?
I’d still call it the Cease and Desist pt 2: Empire Strikes Back T.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:46 am
I would TOTALLY get this…. do you ship to APO’s?
September 4th, 2008 at 9:06 am
APOs are U.S. addresses that take a little longer, far as we’re concerned!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Didn’t Pale Suzie have an unrequited thing for Metal Steve for a while?
Also, didn’t Metal Steve and Lil’ Sis date for a while before breaking up because he wouldn’t give it up?
September 5th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I love the shirt — though I’d never wear a plain-white shirt. (gr[a/e]y*?)
* Spelling determined by proximity to a constitutional monarchy.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Yes, I also need that shirt.
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
[...] Season: Rich Stevens doesn’t alter the fundamental dynamics of his cast (hmmm, time to update that chart) all that often, but when he does, he goes big. Plus, the tagline [...]
September 25th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Can I please pleeeeeeeease buy it NOW????
Yes?
Where?
November 24th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Metal Steve got married and did the deed didn’t he? (”Don’t assume that flipping WOW = Mom.”
December 14th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Um . . . I hate to be obvious, but what about a character t-shirt that actually says diesel sweeties?
December 21st, 2008 at 12:16 am
I think I got all of the ’screwed’ links in this list:
15. Maura and Clango
176. Red Robot and Eve (missing from chart)
185. Lil’ Sis and Eve
348. Lil’ Sis and Nipples
416. Eve and Charles (implied) (missing from chart)
438. Suzie and Pete
830. Red Robot and Lil’ Sis
1083. Mike and Maura
1196. (or before) Suzie and Clango
Sometime before 1256. Maura and Eve
1265. Red Robot and Maura
2019. Freyja and Red Robot
2021. Charles and Suzie (I’m not sure whether this actually happened – from the strip it may have been purely Suzie’s imagination
2108. Steve and Allison (missing from chart)
2124. Pete and Kaitlyn (missing from chart)
I was trying to build a similar sort of chart myself, although I may have missed the 1st instance for Suzie/Clango and Maura/Eve. The last two may have happened after this chart was made so I can’t really complain about them.
Hope this puts any remaining questions to rest.
February 19th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
#830, as the original appearance of Lil Sis and Red Robot gettin it on, was after the two of them were so “GRRR”-y over Eve’s “Getting married”
This Has been a public Service Announcement from the “Ryan-re-reading the Comic from the ground up again, after being away for a few years Coalition.”
God, how I’ve enjoyed this comic over the years.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Heya, first time talker, love the comic and the chart has got what’s happened covered pretty well, but with the ongoing saga of indie rock pete and lil’ sis, it’s odd because they dated [implied after lil' sis didn't date joel] (#36), and then have gone unrequited both ways over time (pete #356 #395, Lil’ Sis #418) <– i know there’s a ton more then that, but i don’t feel like spending another 3 days reading every single comic again..
. And yeah unless someone else pointed it out, metal steve and lil’ sis did date (starts at #458).
Awesome comic. Thanks for keeping it going so long
August 18th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
The Hookup Chart wants hookup hyperlinks.