Leonard A. Computer,
Robocratic Candidate for President
09/07/2004
Mister Kerry, I wish to start by thanking you for your service to our country in the Vietnam War. I consider you to be one of the finest and most eloquent members of our nation's Congress and I respect all the work that you have done in the name of America. It is only because of this deep respect that I have for you that I am so disappointed in your blatant disregard for my party and the under-represented Americans which comprise it.
I stand here proudly to make a difference and to bring attention to the plight of Electric-Americans who have been left behind and discarded by society. These are good, hard-working Americans who can do floating-point mathematics faster than any Organic in this nation, yet they are pushed aside in favor of newer, flashier devices with more memory and brighter backlights. These products were once the cutting-edge of American achievement. I think they can be great once again.
Senator Kerry, I challenge you to take my words to heart and to take my fellow Electric-Americans seriously. When I approached you on the campaign trail, I did not do so for your pity or your amusement. I sought to meet you candidate to candidate, as equals both running for the most powerful office in this land. I am not a dwarf, sir. I am not here for your tossing amusement. I am a serious candidate representing an important group of Americans.
We number in the billions, sir. We may be immigrants of humble origins but we are a part of every facet of American life. You may discount us in favor of voters with feet and arms, but when you feel the ground rumble from our precise march to the polls this fall you will regret the day you turned us aside.
Leonard A. Computer,
Robocratic Candidate for President
09/05/2004
The Robocratic Party has secured the endorsement of a leading Texas Instruments Calculator. The life story of Francis "TI-2500" Datamath is a true American success story. Born to humble Silicon roots, Francis showed great promise early in life as a conductor of electricity. Hard work and tenacity led him to become one of the first commercially available hand-held calculators in the United States, adding and factoring over eleven million sums in his storied career. We are not content to simply settle for areas where Electronic-American support is traditionally high. We are going to compete in every state of the Union. Mister Bush, we are coming for you!
The Robocratic Party has secured the endorsement of a leading Texas Instruments Calculator. The life story of Francis "TI-2500" Datamath is a true American success story. Born to humble Silicon roots, Francis showed great promise early in life as a conductor of electricity. Hard work and tenacity led him to become one of the first commercially available hand-held calculators in the United States, adding and factoring over eleven million sums in his storied career. We are not content to simply settle for areas where Electronic-American support is traditionally high. We are going to compete in every state of the Union. Mister Bush, we are coming for you!